If he’s not the guy just break up already

Stop messing around with the wrong guys.

In high school, a random guy asked me out on a date. I said yes. Big deal. Right?

Me, being the nice person that I was just could not say no. To me, the dude was completely unappealing. He was a nice guy but certainly there were no sparks, no chemistry, nothing to build upon.

Next thing I know, we had been together for a few years, he proposes and again I say yes because I couldn’t hurt his feelings. Engagement ring was on my finger. Wedding plans began. Our parents were excited.

Is this hard to understand? I mean how could anyone just coast along through an entire relationship without being honest to their partner, let alone themselves.

Just Be Honest

Women can have incredibly low self esteem. And by women I mean I had low self esteem.

In many households, women have value in whom they have as a mate, or as is my case, if they have a mate.

I was happy to have any relationship. I was happy to have plans on the weekend. I was happy to have someone to escort me to social events. I was happy to have a dining companion. Unfortunately, this was the extent of my feelings.

In hindsight, I realize that this was incredibly dishonest and deceitful. Promises of the ever-after kind of love were made. This is the worst kind of dishonesty — and lying.

Face Facts

Initially, I hoped that chemistry would develop.

When a really nice, kind, caring guy finds you to be his soulmate, you really should reciprocate. Anything less is cruel.

This is what I wished someone would have told me. If only anyone had known this except me, they probably would have told me.

The truth is that if the sparks aren’t flying in those first moments, there is really not much of a chance that they ever will be there. But wait, you say. Not every relationship is built upon sparks flying and animal lust. But I am sure there is a little something, something.

Cut Him Loose

Incredibly this went on for over two years, nearly a year long engagement.

As the months dragged, and the wedding date was set, I finally realized, SHIT this is for real. I had to, had to finally get real and stop this. My…