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JD Vance writes: How to Prepare a Kitten Taco and Other Forgotten Recipes
JD Vance writes: How to Prepare a Kitten Taco and Other Forgotten Recipes
If you’ve been keeping up with recent headlines, you’ve probably heard some alarming news.
Apparently, somewhere in Springfield, Ohio, an entirely true (but somehow completely undocumented) crisis has emerged: immigrants are *allegedly* stealing beloved pets from suburban homes and, brace yourselves, turning them into meals! Yes, it seems like we’re living in the golden age of Republican folklore, where urban legends and fabricated scandals have become the new truth.
In the spirit of these wild tales, let’s dive headfirst into this deliciously absurd world with a satirical twist.
Today, we’ll explore the art of preparing “kitten tacos” and other forgotten recipes from the vault of conservative hysteria.
Step 1: Catch Your Kitten
Obviously, the first step in making a world-class kitten taco is catching one of these elusive, taco-ready creatures.
According to the Springfield whispers, immigrants have mastered the art of luring kittens with promises of free health care and sensible immigration reform. You can replicate this technique…
