Slave to Social Anxiety

Confessions

You make commitments to attend events. You make a promise to attend. The date and time creep closer and closer and you feel you are facing execution. Sound familiar?

Welcome to my life the way it was.

How it Feels

A friend extends an invitation, and you do want to join them. In the moment you envision the fun times, excitement, and memories to be made. You tell yourself that this time will be different and this time you will follow through. You are not going to cancel at the last moment.

Really. You won’t.

Yet, the time nears. Your social anxiety rears its head. You body starts doing all kinds of things. My personal favorites are the stomach pains and lightheadedness. The symptoms run an entire spectrum, and if you are bored feel free to read up on signs at https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-social-anxiety-disorder#1-3.

How it Starts

Fellow sufferers like us, can tell you how and when it started. Afterall, the first time it happened you were probably certain you were dying. For each, the start is different. You may have experienced a traumatic childhood event. You may have experienced an event of great shame. You may have been conditioned to be anxious by an overbearing parent. Even stranger, maybe you experience nothing at all. Any of these is possible, or perhaps, like me it was an extra shady combination of these.

Why does this matter?

The start can help you to identify the end. Yes, there can be an end — or at least a diminishing of the hold that this has in your life.

Fix it

At some point you — now since you are reading this — you realize that this must end. You understand that this is not how you wish to live out the rest of your time on this planet. You want to join your friends at parties, attend concerts or go out to dinner.

What now?

Now you have some decisions to make. Do I start small? Perhaps you want to start out with meds. You will find that there are many options if you choose this avenue. Or perhaps you have more that the garden variety anxiety and need a more serious treatment via psychotherapy. Since I am not a doctor, let me point you in the direction of a professional. Take a look at https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/social-anxiety-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20353567 for some options.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

You are fully aware of what life with social anxiety look like. Let me help you see what it means to be freed of this.

Here is what it is not. It is not a carefree life. It is not walking about emotionlessly alone.

Here is what it is. It is waking up without that feeling of wondering what I will worry about that day. It means making some plans and doing things with my friends. It means being able to make a commitment and keeping it.