What Will Trump Do Next to Raise Funds? A Glimpse into the Future

After the sneaker debacle, Trump has gone back to the drawing board for some new ideas to generate some capital.

Libby Winkler


Photo by XXWW on Unsplash

Disclaimer: This article is satire as of the writing, but who knows at this point?

What will Trump do next to raise funds? A glimpse into the future

In the ever-unpredictable saga of American politics, one figure stands out for his unparalleled ability to keep the public guessing: Donald Trump.

As he eyes potential future endeavors, the question on everyone’s lips isn’t just “What will he do next?” but “How will he fund it?”

Trump Steaks: The Comeback

Remember Trump Steaks? Well, they’re making a grand comeback, but with a twist. In a bid to appeal to a more diverse audience, Trump is set to launch a line of plant-based steaks. Yes, you read that right. The new “Trump Tofu Steaks” are marketed as “The Best Steaks on the Plant…et.”

Each steak comes with a complimentary bottle of “Trump Water,” sourced directly from the fountain of youth (or so the label claims).

Trump University 2.0: Learn the Art of the Deal

Trump University is back, but not as you know it.

This time, it’s an online-only institution offering courses in “Creative Fundraising Strategies” and “Advanced Tweeting for Influence and Impact.”

Graduates receive a NFT diploma, personally tweeted out by Trump, ensuring a retweet storm and instant viral fame. Special scholarships are available for anyone who can prove they’ve successfully changed a liberal’s mind on Twitter.

The Trump Monopoly Game

In a strategic partnership with Hasbro, Trump is set to release his own version of Monopoly.

Forget Boardwalk and Park Place; players will vie for properties like Mar-a-Lago and Trump Tower. The game features unique Trumpian twists: bankruptcy is just a pit stop, and the “Get Out of Jail Free” cards are golden. The real kicker?



Libby Winkler

Freelance writer who loves exploring the messiness of humanity, while poking around in nooks of life and shining light on all the things that make us complex..